People aren't always what they seem to be.
So today I talked quick with one of the girls in my Photo class, Raquel, to make sure that I just wasn't seeing things.
There's a young man in my Photo class, William, who very apparently likes me. It starts out all nice and everything. Offer a ride here, offer this and that there, etc. I've been kind and considerate, but I have to keep in mind not to let him think that I like him. He's been all nice and everything, kind of like how Sam was in the beginning. But today was a turning point.
He and I had the same type of film and to save time and such, we would put our film in the same developing canister. To put film in the canister without exposing it, thus ruining it, you have to go in a completely dark room. You can't see anything. We both had to go in there, by ourselves. At the point in time, I didn't think of it as anything. As soon as we were in there, and he turned off the lights, all I wanted was for him to be done so I could get out of there. 'This is why you're never supposed to be alone with a guy in the same room.' the thought came. This is a guy that I know will always just be a classmate. I told him to put the film (when he was done with it) on the counter, but he insisted on grabbing my hand and handing it to me. UNNERVING!!!
It didn't even end there! We were working with chemicals and water. I was talking to one of our other classmates about pictures he (the other classmate) had developed and such, William came over and put his cold, wet hand on my neck/back area. I was thoroughly pissed off! I took a towel and smacked him with it. He just laughed and took it, but I was really pissed that he would do such a thing. I told him not to even think about doing it again. His reply came, "I'm long past thinking about it." It was creepy! I'm scared to know what else he's thought about-in fact, I don't even want to know! Later, he was swearing (big surprise), but I told him that he doesn't need to swear to make a point. Guess what? He swore just to swear. Dude! If you know that I don't like it, at least show me that you respect me!
During all this, I went to go check my phone, hoping that I had a text from Sam. I just lite up and felt that everything was going to be somewhat ok when I found a text from him.
I miss feeling safe, comfortable. I have a pretty good amount of friends that don't exactly agree with me, but at least they respect me and most definitely show it.
I'm most definitely scared! I'm not stupid, I know what guys are capable of when they really want their own way.
I know that this probably sounds so childish, but today during all that, all I could think about was Sam. Gosh, I miss him.
At the same time, I'm so thoroughly scared! Raquel told me that maybe I should just tell William that I'm now dating Sam just so he'll leave me alone and stop trying to do whatever it is that he's trying to do!
You better shape up
Cause I need a man
And my heart is set on you
You better shape up
You better understand
To my heart I must be true
-Grease: You're the One that I Want
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