Pivotal Moment

So I've tried several times to download the video of my public speaking assignment. However, it just won't download, so y'all will have to do with the written version instead.
Our class was assigned to write a speech about a pivotal moment in our life. I decided to write about my suspension from BYU Idaho. As I got halfway through writing it, it seemed as if I didn't know how to write. I could think but nothing would travel to the keys. I gave up for that night and went to bed. (This was Saturday night, my speech was due Monday.) I went to church the following day, during Sunday School it just hit me. I pulled out a piece of paper and before I knew it my entire speech outline was written down. Later that night I wrote up my speech.
I was really surprised about how well it went. One of my "characters" of my speech decided to sit not far from my classroom this afternoon. So my classmates got a look at this "character"; now they have a face to go with a story.
I even dropped off a dvd copy of my speech to a friend of mine. I figured she would love to see/hear my speech, considering she knows my "character".

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I've spent most of my life being the shy one, the keep-your-mouth-shut one. I was always too timid to make my own decisions. I felt I didn't know what was truly best for me and past experience only seemed to support the idea. As I got older, I began to learn. Life's about having the confidence to make your own decisions and not base them on anyone else, but yourself. I thought to myself, I should have the confidence to know what's best for me, and not care what other people think of my decisions. My life is about me!
It was my birthday, and at the time I was dating my friend, Matt. My dad struck up a conversation with him asking him about school, life, whatever came to mind. Matt told him, he was thinking of going elsewhere for school in the fall. He was no longer going to live at home. I don't know what look I gave, but Matt definitely saw it. I still very vividly remember him looking at me saying, "Don't change your plans because of me." At the time, I didn't know how much of an impact his one small, honest-feeling statement would have on the rest of my life.
The next night, we broke up. We still try to be friends since then. And I saw him working on making his life better for himself and decided. He's using this time to take care of himself; I should do the same.
He had talked about possibly going to UNC, a school his mother suggested for him. He was really excited about it and began making plans with friends. My cousin, Becky, had been trying to convince me to just at least visit her in Greeley since I was 18-years-old. After three years, I gave in and I went to Greeley. How was I supposed to know that Greeley and UNC was the same thing? I am not from Colorado. Before leaving I had prayed that I would know whether or not I should go to this school. I went and toured the school, met several people, and gained a very good idea of the school. But I had not gained an answer to my much needed prayer.
As I drove home, I thought over everything. Over school, my relationship with Matt; life in general and a thought came to my mind. "Don't change your plans because of me." It just hit me. I finally understood. I decided then and there, I was going to go to UNC whether or not Matt was there. Tears flowed down my face and joy filled my heart as I finally knew what I was to do with my life.
Without these events, I truly wouldn't be me. I began looking at life differently after that. I became more independent in my choices, and more responsible for myself. I've become more confident in my decisions as a young adult. I postponed my move to Greeley for the logical circumstance to pay for school by myself. I refuse to have Mommy and Daddy do it for me. I've even made the goal to not go into debt for school. We'll just have to wait and see what happens with that, but I'm excited for what every next turn will bring. I'm not so scared anymore, but ecstatic for future events.
It was a small, honest-feeling statement from a close friend. It was an unexpected lesson. It was a decision I made on my own with the unknowing nudge from a good friend. I am confident in myself! I know I can do anything I set my mind to! I know I'm still learning, and still growing, but that's part of life. And it's my life!

And Two Months Later... [revised]

The day before my 21st birthday, my friend, Jess, bet $5 that Matt and I would be engaged by the end of the summer. Today, she sent me a message, "Are you engaged yet?" With all the crazy resume writing and job searching I've been doing today, I needed the laugh. I just haven't had the guts yet to tell her that we're not dating anymore.
My friend, Kevin, is having a hard time because Laura is in Utah for a whole month. How many days til she comes home? Kevin knows! He was telling me he started missing her after he dropped her off at the airport and will probably "go crazy" with missing her after the third day she's gone. I reminded him of whom he was talking to. He smiled knowing quite well that I knew what he was feeling; the feeling you get when you don't have them by your side.
Our break up was the right thing for both of us. I've grown so much in the little months since. I've learned more about myself, my life, my family, and more. I've even been pushing boundaries for more independence. Breaking up with Matt was one of the best things that could've happened to either of us.
I went on conversing with Kevin. I told him that there will be days that will go by faster than others. There will be days that feel like they're just dragging on and on.
There are days that I can make it on my own. Then there are moments that remind me how much I miss him. Not the missing a person you never see. It's just missing them, if you can understand what I'm saying. I'm just hoping that with time it won't hurt as much. Only One knows.
But you can see two pictures I "borrowed" of him. His crazy, fun-loving side and his sensitive side with his little nephew, Cohen. He's pretty amazing, if I do say so myself.

Crazy Drama (Irony)

So today, I laid down to take a nap. At around five-ish, my phone rang. Guess who it was?!?! My "sister" Sarah! She and I have known each other since I was born! We've always considered ourselves family, not to mention we've actually fought like family too!
One of the first things she says, "Tell me all the details!!!" And of course, she's talking about my relationship with Matt. I told her the story of before he even got home from his mission to the "jist" of nowadays. She couldn't believe all the crazy drama that had been going on before we had actually met! But of course, it made me think. Maybe I should thank all those girls and their crazy drama.
It's always been said that when things get tough, that's when your true colors show. I love that Matt doesn't care what other people think. So while people were talking behind my back, he "came forward" to tell me that he didn't care. He would continue to be my friend.
It amazed me that he did such a thing. Not soon afterwards, I felt the need to re-evaluate my social circle. My friends don't judge. They're supportive types. If all you're going to do is "talk smack" about a person, you're no friend of mine. But I do hope that when everything comes to a close that at least someone has decided to stick around you. Everyone needs at least one friend.
But I think, all in all, all that crazy drama helped get us where we are today. It was more of a help than a hinder. Then again, everything happens for a reason.