Taking a Risk

Life becomes more and more interesting as you get older. You learn more; you know more. I continually find it so interesting. It's always been said that things come into your life when you least expect it.
When we're younger we make these 'lists' of what we want for our future spouse. I learned a little over a year ago from Elder Bednar that those 'lists' aren't for our spouse, but for us. Another thing that I learned from him is the fact of RMs. Don't use the fact that you're an RM to get married. 'Returned Missionary' is just a title, so you served the Lord for 18 months or two years. But it's not about what you did, but also what you're doing now. Elder Bednar said that we should marry Missionaries. We should continue to be the person that we were on our missions. Sister Hinckley, President Hinckley's wife, said that she was happy to be second best in her husband's life because she was second best to the Lord.
"I'd rather that a young man have a strong relationship with the Lord before he has a strong relationship with me." - Unknown
If a young man puts the Lord first, then you know what's most important to him. Somehow I feel more comfortable knowing that he puts the Lord first. It's as if he has a better idea of what's right.
I feel giddy like my old high school, teenage self, but at the same time I feel very much mature like my 19-20-year-old self. I have the knowledge of an older, more mature young woman - which has seemed to make my life so much easier.
I most definitely feel like the idiot that I can be. I met a friend of mine about a year ago. He, just like my best friend and roommate, Tami, I thought was a little on the strange side. But you can't judge a book by its cover. I had decided my first term that I didn't really want to date, and later he told me that he wanted to ask me out, but didn't because I didn't want to date and he respected that. (That definitely gives him points, may I just say!) So we were just friends. Half of my roommates thought that we were dating and the other half thought that he was stalking me. [His responds to this was 'I have never stalked a girl in my life.] Well the second term came around and I thought about dating him, but (lo and behold!) he had a girlfriend!
Most thoughts now would be that we're not very good at this whole thing. But as I thought it over, I really don't regret any of it. Guys are really scary! Just like everyone else in the world, you're always scared that you're going to make a fool of yourself. He doesn't really scare me! He's already seen me act like the complete dork that I can be!
He is a great, fun loving kind of guy! I had a friend that liked him and asked me if I didn't mind if she went on a date with him. I didn't mind, I was actually kind of surprised that she had even asked my permission.
Well, it took me a while, but I'd like to be more than just friends. Sometimes you just have to take a risk. Although taking a risk is very nerve racking, especially if you're a girl and it's all that you can think about. But something feels very right about this. So if it's supposed to work out that's great. If not, then there's probably that I'm supposed to learn from it. We'll just have to wait and see what happens.

Point taken: I'm most definitely eating my words!